The Hidden Oasis

You speak to me. Not verbally nor through actions.
I hear you in my soul. They say you know when you're in love.
You can feel it deep inside. I feel you in me.
You're in my core. You've become part of my essence.
I hear you. I dreamt you before I knew you.
My dream had a different ending. Dreams are fantasies,
distortions of reality, the revealing of the unconsciousness.

I slept for so long. You awakened me from my slumber.
You showed me a new world. But it was incomplete.
After hiding from my emotions, you swept into my being,
washing away my fear and from that emerged an innocent love.

It came out of me, strong and fierce. I tried to run from it.
But like a fawn, wide-eyed and frightened,
I was caught in your headlights.
You were the hunter. You shot me with your arrow,
the pain slowly penetrating my body,
leaving no inch of me unscathed.

For the first time, I didn't fight back.
The battle was over. I surrendered.
Now I hang over your mantle, a showpiece, a rare breed.
I laid down for you, for you I gave my last breath.
From the mantle, I watch and wait and work to forget.
Slowly it will happen.

What can I give you that I didn't?
What can I say that I haven't?
In your eyes I searched for truth and for hope.
I needed you to guide my way.
In me you found amusement, sincere innocence.
I nourished your ego.
All I wanted was you, unconditionally.
I didn't want gifts, I didn't want pretty words.
I wanted your smiles, your eyes upon me, your truth.

The wind blows me in all directions - east, west, north and south.
I don't know where the wind will blow me next.
The tornado continues to twist, swirl and grow.
It throws me around, but doesn't let go. I want it to stop.
I want to stay in quiet solitude.
I need to search for a desert and find its secret oasis.
I thirst for tranquility and inner peace.

I remain thirsty. I can't find a resolution. I haven't yet.
You're in every waking moment. You're in every blink of an eye.
You're in my core. You resonate in my soul.
Please, fade away. Become a memory, a distant past.
Join my father in my heart.