Recognizing Love

Love is a concept. As such, it is nothing more than an abstract idea we've attached a symbol (heart) and holiday (Valentine's Day) to. We associate love with the color red, celebrate it with candy (preferably chocolate) and flowers (roses being the most obvious choice), but still manage to neither be able to define, understand it or completely surrender to it. Love affects our perception and behavior and often times serves as an acceptable excuse for acting out - "I did it for love", "love made me do it", "I did it because I love you". Love is viewed as a powerful feeling, perhaps people are right and love does conquer all. However, what perplexes me about love is that, at the end of the day, there is NO proof of its existence. You can't see it, touch it, taste it, smell it, nor hear it.

As a skeptic, its hard to accept the reality of something that one can't prove, whether it be a Higher Power such as God or a concept such as love. Some may argue that love manifests itself in everyday life - the father who works 3 jobs, the grandmother who bakes chocolate chip cookies, or the lover who tenderly kisses his partner's forehead. They're all signs, demonstrations of love. But are they really? Or do we just want to see them as such?

Love is source of comfort. Like God, it provides a sense of tranquility, serves as a safety net. It reassures one that we are not alone, that through hard times we have someone to lean on; someone to hold us; someone to tells us it will be okay. Love is multi-faceted. We say we love our parents, our children, our friends, our neighbors. But every love is different. The love we feel for our parents is different than that which we feel for our babies, our lovers, our friends. The difference in types of love is not really an issue for me, the issue for me is still the existence of love. Our approach to the different kinds of relationship is fine but do we love them or do we just form an attachment for different reasons?

We're creatures of habit so we grow accustomed to our parents and siblings, to their presence, to their acceptance of ourselves, the way they're there when you want them and when you don't. Because they're normally there as we develop, a sense of dependency that can be associated with love happens. We think we love our friends because, similarly to our family, we become dependent on them in what they give us - an ear when we complain about our jobs, schools, friends, families, boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands, wives; a distraction from our seemingly dull lives. However, the one that confuses me the most and probably the reason WHY I have to question love, is the romantic love shared by two people. If love is real, how can you stop loving them? How can you behave selfishly toward them? Use them? Lie? Cheat? I always thought love was about openness, about giving and not holding back. After all, love is "patient, love is kind". However, I look around and see that love is lacking. I understand that interpretation of love varies from person to person, but shouldn't all interpretations share that love wants what's best for the other person?